Time for another story from me, it’s been a while and I have enough to tell ya.

So I am taking a moment to tell you what I’ve been doing all this time. Well, for one thing I’ve been busy working out the last details of the wedding that is due next month, just 4 more weeks to go. My love bought him a hat for the wedding (one I like, so can you guess what kind??? LOL) And I have been busy figuring out what kind of thank you’s we will give all the guests and we (or actually my love) came up with the idea to bake brownies for all the guests,then wrap them with a thank ‘s for being here note.And then I’ve been figuring out what I want for decoration in the backyard on the tables, I thought about white table cloths and a centre piece on all the tables, I think that will look kind of chique.

The other thing I’m busy with is making a few last jewels to sell, this coming weekend. I am nervous, don’t know if I have enough and I hope to God someone will buy these things. I never sold any jewels on a market, so this will be a complete new thing to me.

I went to bed an hour ago and now i am up again.I heard this song on the radio,a song that reminded me of my youth,i dont even know what the name of this stupid sad song is,but it got to me.I heard it before i went to bed,then went to bed and just stared in the darkness.The darn thing keeps me awake.You see i had a very bad childhood,and i dont think about it too often,but now i do because of this song.

I thought about how my parents were to selfcentered and busy with theirselves,i dont know why they even had kids.I mean my dad loved us i know,but my mom didnt care,she really didnt care about us,all she cared about was herself.I grew up loveless,no love,no hugs,no tugging in at night no kisses,nothing.When i look in the mirror i think i am cursed,i look like her,i look like the person who hates me the most,the person who ruined my life.Maybe that is my punishment for speeking bad of my mother.But its true,she is a bad person,i had absolutely no role model.My dad,my dear old dad,i loved him but he drank everyday untill he couldnt even see straight,and then the fought,really fought,like hitting and kicking eachother,and we would be upstairs in bed scared.Man my childhood was so bad,and this song i heard its about some girl having all the love she can get,its an old song,and i remember wanting to have a family,people who loved me.If i could have cosen my mom i would have trade her for someone else,then my dad wouldnt have gone drinking,he would have stayed home and we would have been happy.

 And now i sit here and i cant shake the feeling i will turn out like mom.You know i wonder am i a good mom?? I mean i shouted at Julia once or twice because she misbehaved,and i have been through so much crap when i was a kid untill i was 20,i am afraid my kid will go through the same crap,like its some kind of thing you can transfer to your kids.

I am afraid she will come to me one day and say mom,you were a bad mom for me,and the what? Though i know that will never happen,i love my kid more then life itself,and i know i give her all the love i missed,but sometimes,just sometimes i am a bit afraid and wondering,but i promise as God is my witness,i will never ever turn out like mom.NEVER!Good night

My supersoul t-shirt came in yesterday,YESSS!!!! Its the fanclub shirt of the Tim mcGraw fanclub,which i am a member of since my sister in law kindly burrowed me her creditcard to pay for it.(i love her even more now).Anyway,i thought well lets put it on with some jeans.its a size m,but it fits perfectly,which is normal with my E cup (yes people,i said E  !  !!),then i thought jeans look nice under this shirt and so i pulled out a new pair of jeans i bought 4 weeks ago.I could not believe it!!! It was too tight (CRY!!!).I tried to squeeze myself in it and i succeeded,but its tight around my bottom(poor me),time for some serious dieting( hard for one who loves food like i do).When i got on the scale i saw i weighed  80 kg.I have too loose some weight or else....i will never fit my weddingdress in 6 weeks(and then what???),so i am on a diet,a diet of no sweets,many vegetables and fruit and other healthy stuff.And of course i need to get back to the gym again,i am a member of one,so no reason not to go.wish me luck....

Tuesday the 22nd of may 2007.After we got back from our way to short holiday, we had a quiet and nice weekend, this Tuesday at 2 pm we had to get to the hospital for some small tests. Our little peanut needed surgery on her palate; the palate was to short so the doctors decided to make it longer with some throat tissue. That way her speech would improve. She also had big tonsils and they also had to go out.

On our way to the hospital, I got a call from the surgeon, she told me a kid had gotten chickenpox and so there was a place available for our little one, she could be admitted that day.Well,since we were on our way, we turned the cars around and went back home to get some stuff (with we I mean wawa,peanut and me,peanuts dad,her step mom and half sister).

We decided that I would stay with her these next days, there was a camping bed available that they put next to our little ones bed, so I needed to pack some stuff too.

Finally on our way to the hospital. when we arrived, Peanut got a few health tests and they decided surgery could be done the next day. So we went to the children’s floor and after a short tour there we went to our little ones room. We hung around for a while and the when everyone went home, peanut and me got to sleep.

The next day, the nurse came and woke us at 7 am, I got dressed, ate a sandwich and drank some tea, got peanut dressed and ready. The nurse came and gave her a drink that made peanut sleepy. At 8 am we walked her bed up to the surgeryroom, I kissed my kid goodbye and went outside waiting. After an hour wawa and dad came walking in the hospital and sat down with me. Finally at 9.30 the doctor came and told us peanut was okay and the operation had succeeded, I could get in to the room with her, so she would see me as she woke up. It was terrible seeing her like that, all black and blue, in agony and crying, all I wanted was take her pain away, but of course I couldn’t. So I sat down with her, until she asked for her wawa got him and he stayed with her until she could go back to her room at the children’s floor, Wawa had calmed her a bit and she was doing better.

The next days were days of waiting and trying to support our peanut, she has been in lots of pain, couldn’t eat or drink for a day or 2.She was allowed to go home 2 days after surgery and she is home now. She feels a bit better everyday. She is only allowed to eat soft things this next 2 weeks and she cant go to school for 2 weeks. Everyone is so sweet to our peanut; they bring presents and send cards, its really nice for her. Her speech sounds a bit better, of course its all a bit swollen still and it needs time to heal, but I am positive about it, it just needs time to heal.

 with klus

with wizzy and woppy

driving in the jungle

on the high slide

Klus tells the kids a story

the big and betsy farm

driving a tractor with mom

my brother joseph in the rollercoaster

joseph convicted of eating too much  LOL.

in the ducks

teacups

in front of the holiday home

on the couch with mom

wawaplop

Well we wnet on a holiday for a few days,Plopsaland in Belgium.

Its a big amusementpark with the studio 100 theme.Studio 100 is a company that makes tv series with plop the gnome and all kinds of other figures.

• 14th of may

we(wawa,peanut,my brother and me) packed up the car and first left to bring our dog to the doghotel,its a place for dogs they can stay at as a holiday.he got his own room (cage),with a outside cage where he could run and play with other dogs,they let the dogs out about 4 times a day,and they get good food.After we said bye to our dog,we went on our way to Belgium,it was a 2 hour drive there and when we finally arrived it was dinner time,we unpacked and then i started dinner,after we ate we sat down and had a relaxed evening together.

• 15th of may

We went to the beach together and build a huge sandcastle,the weather was nice and we all sat down on the beach for a long time,our peanut played in the sand and the sea.

• 16th of may

Peanuts big day,we are visiting plopsaland,she had the best time ever,she saw all her favorite caracters,they were walking around there (in doll versions),the gnomes plop,lui (lazy),kwebbel(chat),and she saw a life bumba the clown show and the klus show (a gnome who is creative and likes to create),it was the real one the one from tv,he gave a show and afterwards all the kids were allowed to get on stage one by one and make a picture with him.Then peanut went in all the kids rides,the ducks,the firetrucks,the jungle cars,the tractors (with me),we saw the K3 (a girlband of 3 girls) museum with all their costumes and stuff,she went into the teacups and many more things,.Peanut was tired afterwards,but when she went to bed she told me she had the best time she ever had.

• 17th of may

I made a decision,while my bro and wawa went to the beach i decided to go to Plopsaland once more with peanut,i loved that smile she had the day before and so i wanted to make her even more happy,and well i succeeded,i even bought her a plophat,the same hat the gnome plop wears in the tv series.

• 18th of may

unfortunately,this was the last day :-(  we got up at 9,packed our stuff and left,we stopped by the local bakery for some croissants and some chocolat breads and a scone for me.We waved to Plopsaland and half way we found a gasstation with nice picknick tables,so we had a little picknick before returning back home,its a pity we had to get home so soon,but maybe we will have a chance to go on a longer holiday later this year.

First we like to introduce ourselves,we are:

1. Mama,29 years old,stay at home mom of a 4 year old,my proffesion is creative artist,i make jewelry,paintings and pictures

Things i like to do:

Spending time with my family,Read,listen to music(i am a huge Tim mcGraw fan),sing,dance,paint,create things,long walks,the forest,the sea,England,travelling,keeping in touch with my overseas friends,cooking,and so much more

Things i dont like:

People who are possesive,pushy and irritating,cleaning my dogs shit,cold weather (unless i am inside near a fireplace),typical Dutch food

2. Wawa,he is my love,my husband,my friend and my lover,he is 38 and a truckdriver.

3. Peanut ,my little 4 year old girl,lovely and sweet,blond,tiny dancer

Then we have 2 cats and a dog,that is our family.